Conversations Part 1

God:

I don't know what has brought me to this point, to talk directly to You, in this public forum, but i hope that You know it is from me to you. I guess it's just because i crave to spend more time with you, but my rational or logical or emotional being doesn't persuade me enough too.

Maybe that's what i want to talk about. I wish i could listen more to my spiritual being sometimes. I realize that a lot of what i do, at this point in my life, is based upon how i feel at the time. Thanks to You, Your Spirit is keeping me out of trouble. But I bet you're fighting pretty hard for that.

I think it's come time for me to move past that emotional/logical/rational phase of my life and lean more to the spiritual. Not saying that all those other things aren't important. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need more time in prayer.....more time asking you for advice.....more times like this, where we can just........be.

I'd ask that you would help me with that. You have been so merciful to me throughout my whole life, and only You know where i would be without Your influence. That sounds like a scarey place. You know.....i think i focus on that too much. It sounds wierd, but i really do spend a lot of time thinking about the things i do and whether you're in them or not. Whether I am seeking you or not. But now that i look back, i can't imagine a time in my brief years as a Christian that i have consciously not wanted you around. Sure, my sin shows by my action that i deny you many times......but you've got that covered.......Christ, that's you........and i am eternally thankful.

Lord, thankyou for letting me be me. Although you know i am still trying to find out who "me" is, you have allowed me to stumble and trip and fall; but have always been there to pick me up and say "I've been here all along". Thankyou. Thankyou beyond all that i am able to say. Thankyou.

Although i dont always recognize You, know that my heart longs after You......always. May that never change. I love you Lord.