Finding happiness

So a lot has happenned since the last entry. Not only is summer almost over, but my life has changed in a way i would never expect. I loved the experience of camp very much, and the memories and character building that i experienced during this time was incredible. But i also have to shed light; for those who still bother to read this; the biggest change in my life: Hanna Broussard.

Yes, I indeed have a girlfriend, but to even call her that doesn't seem to do what we have justice. By now you may be thinking, "Wow Brenton has gone off his rocker, and found a camp girlfriend and is going to attempt to make it work". But trust me, this relationship is different from every other one i have been involved with due to one simple fact: it's not about me........or her. Now you probably think i've really gone crazy, but to me, this relationship couldn't have gone any other way.

Yes, Hanna and I did meet at camp, and we did have a short courting time, but we both realized very quickly that we weren't seeking each other through our interactions. We were both seeking God. For some reason, we discovered that our feelings for each other were not directed toward building a relationship based on us, but based on Him. We are both at a point in our lives where we need more of His presence, and the fact that we live apart (yes, she goes to school in texas) gives us more of a chance to do that. I have never found someone that has allowed me to realize what i want more out my own life, than by looking at hers. It's almost like God reveals more of His plan for me through her.

Sure this sounds corny, silly, or maybe even too good to be true. And by now whoever is reading this is probably still hung up on the distance part. The fact is, that if i tried to explained to you how this relationship fits into my life, i could never rationalize it for you. It's completely a God thing. I feel like, i've been out of control throughout this whole experience.......and i love what is happenning to me! I feel like i'm laughing different, i smile more, i'm slower to get angry.....and this is not just because of her, but because of what God is doing through us.

The fact is, is that God has placed us together in our walk towards him. Whether we will be walking together the whole time is up to Him. But what He is doing right now is really exciting the both of us, and we are overjoyed in what He has provided us through each other. She makes me happier than i think i've ever been in my life, because i know that we are both focused on the same thing. For me this is finding happiness. It's another one of those blessings i don't deserve, but God's grace has sufficiently covered.

I understand that being apart is going to be hard for me and for her, and even my situation as an international is also going to be an issue. But for the first time i've been in the U.S., I'm not worried about it......i'm even excited about it. We have planned so many ways to keep us focused on God, and we have realized that finding love for each other can only be found through Him. Maybe this distance thing will be rough, but it will teach us to rely more on Him and less on each other.

I'm amazed at Hanna's love for the Lord, and how focused she is on building that relationship with Him. I just feel blessed and honored that God has chosen me to be a part of that journey, and even more amazed that God has placed her in mine. I feel like i could type forever on this......fact is i haven't even told the story about how her and I met and that would take forever. I'd love to tell that story to anyone that is interested, but even with that story, i don't think that it could explain to you how much she means to me. I've never been in a relationship where i have been solely focused on building a relationship on God and not about just building a relationship. It's like i am more excited for her to know the Lord more than i am about her knowing me. And the fact that she feels the same way makes me feel like distance will never be an issue......even though it will.

Well before i go on......i'll let you marinate on the confusion that this entry has probably caused many of you. But all i can say through all this, is that i am happy......like i never have been before.....and i can't wait to see where God is moving next.