Tuesday, January 31, 2006

All about me.

I am transparent.
You can see right through me.
You can see how I act, or how i might.
How might I?

Do you know me?
Are you sure?
Can you tell me what i'll do before
I do it?

Of course you can!
Im as predictable as 1 + 1
It's no secret.....you just have to do the math.
It's all what you figure.

Just take the time and look.
That's all i ask.
That you ask.
And you'll know
All about me.

Monday, January 30, 2006

The Kid has gone home.....:(

So, my bro, Jake has come to the US, conquered it, and decided to return to the mother country. Good on ya kid...ya did Australia proud.

It was really good to spend time with my little bro. For those of you that don't know, i rarely get to spend time with my family since being here in the US has kept me away for 5 years. Having Jake around has not only allowed me to reconnect with the fam, but also to get to know Jake a lot better. There were so many things that i didn't know, or had forgotten about him and it was refreshing to have him around to hang out with.

It was also a blessing to introduce him to so many of my friends that have been apart of my family. Everyone warmed up to him so much and took him in just like they did me which really makes me want to thank everyone. To the Gilberts, Luke, the Vineyard and the Youth Group, Ryan H, Kate and the James family, Jana and the Collins Family Lance, Kate S, Candi, Kara, Kristen, Kelly, Rachael and Rachael, Cheryl, Sam and the Williams family, Mo,the nuns at the mother house and anyone else that got to spend time with him....thanks so much for taking him in. You're all family to the both of us.

It's funny that me and Jake never used to get along...(and we still don't at times), but after his stay here i've really grown to love him and value every minute i've got to spend with him. We still get on each other's nerves all the time, but i've really began to appreciate the brother he is to me. We are both very different, yet oddly similar. And its funny that in both the similarities and differences i've really grown to appreciate him.

We got to spend about a month with each other and do a lot of things like going to Dallas, Kansas City, Oklahoma City, golfing, bowling, partying, catching some live music and a lot of chilling. We got to share a lot and talk about many things. But now that his trip is all said and done, im really happy that we got to build a relationship (whatever it is), and not slip into being at each others throats (which i feared might happen!). I just hope he had as good a time as i did hangin with him. I love ya bro.........good luck with your school year.

I know its been a long time since i've posted, but i think its because Jake's been here and i haven't had a lot of time to just sit down and think about what all i've done. I think my blog entries are going to look a little different from now on. I might just start writing out what im thinking, or try my hand at poetry or something. Everyone else seems to have a go at it......i might as well see how it fits on me. I hope to update a little more frequently too......and leave more comments (i know, i've been real slack....im a student, can ya blame me?)

~God, I praise you for the time i've got to spend with my brother. You have done an incredible work in our relationship, and I pray that it continues to grow and flourish in the love you have provided us. I continue to pray for him, that you may keep him safe and searching.....for whatever it is he is looking for in his life. Oh.....and help me to update more.....i really do miss it.hehehe thanks. Amen~

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Conversations Part 1


I don't know what has brought me to this point, to talk directly to You, in this public forum, but i hope that You know it is from me to you. I guess it's just because i crave to spend more time with you, but my rational or logical or emotional being doesn't persuade me enough too.

Maybe that's what i want to talk about. I wish i could listen more to my spiritual being sometimes. I realize that a lot of what i do, at this point in my life, is based upon how i feel at the time. Thanks to You, Your Spirit is keeping me out of trouble. But I bet you're fighting pretty hard for that.

I think it's come time for me to move past that emotional/logical/rational phase of my life and lean more to the spiritual. Not saying that all those other things aren't important. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I need more time in prayer.....more time asking you for advice.....more times like this, where we can just........be.

I'd ask that you would help me with that. You have been so merciful to me throughout my whole life, and only You know where i would be without Your influence. That sounds like a scarey place. You know.....i think i focus on that too much. It sounds wierd, but i really do spend a lot of time thinking about the things i do and whether you're in them or not. Whether I am seeking you or not. But now that i look back, i can't imagine a time in my brief years as a Christian that i have consciously not wanted you around. Sure, my sin shows by my action that i deny you many times......but you've got that covered.......Christ, that's you........and i am eternally thankful.

Lord, thankyou for letting me be me. Although you know i am still trying to find out who "me" is, you have allowed me to stumble and trip and fall; but have always been there to pick me up and say "I've been here all along". Thankyou. Thankyou beyond all that i am able to say. Thankyou.

Although i dont always recognize You, know that my heart longs after You......always. May that never change. I love you Lord.