Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Get it out there

So I guess i just have stuff to say. Don't know what. But i'm just putting it out there. I feel like i should update everyone on how i've been doing on this site, but i think once in a while i might just throw in random thoughts to offset my brain. Hope it doesn't scare anyone.

So, God has been incredible lately. The last 4 nights here at camp i've either spent time in worship, time in fellowship, or time ministering. Three incredible oppurtunities to serve Him and i feel blessed with that. I've also been spending a lot of time reading. I've been getting into Galatians and Ephesians which have been really feuling my soul. I'm also reading a book called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller, which is incredible btw. I think im going to buy the book for a couple of friends. Basically, that book has just inspired me to think and reflect more. It offers a lot of random experiences and conversations that he places in a crazy order that makes you think about your place in the world and what God has to do with it.

I say this a lot, but i think my life is just getting started. I think i'm finally starting to find my place in the world. For some time i think i was suffering from an identity crisis, and i think, that i probably will for the rest of my life. But at least at this point i think im getting a grasp of who i am. Next week could be different though....whole new set of days. Im at the point where i feel confident about being me and not having to fit in or please everyone. A part of me still wants to get that feeling of gratification that everyone i know likes me. But now i just don't seem to care. Cinicism you might say? I don't see it like that. I see it as a point where i i'm fine with myself and i'm not afraid to show that person before others.

I know it sounds like i'm writing to a psychologist, and that i've just had a self-esteem break through, but for me its more than that. I think that this is the first time in my life that i am not afraid to dissapoint people for just being me. I don't feel awkward when i'm telling people that my life revolves around Christ and how He saved me.

I still feel helpless however when i try and explain Christ to a non believer. Here comes the analogy: I'm the non-magician that knows how to pull off the greatest magic trick the world has seen. I can perform the magic trick to my own and others amazement, but i can't explain how i do it. I don't even know how it works. All i know is that i understand it, and that it looks incredible. I could tell you how to move your hands and body and what objects need to be moved at certain times to make the trick work, but i have no control over how it happens and at times i feel confused by it all. But the greatest part about this trick, and to my own ignorance i often forget, that it is not an illusion but that the magic is actually real and that im really not performing the trick at all. It has decided to let me understand it and somehow show it to others.

How do you explain Christ to others? I don't know.......and i want to be a minister? Scarey? Never......God is not an easy thing to comprehend and we often fall in times of doubt and confusion and thats OK (I think i've finally worked that out). All i need to remember is that He is real. I can see it anytime i want......It's not an's real. And i can't praise God enough to why i understand that. I just wish there was an easy way to show others that its a heart thing. It's just another door that needs to be opened.

~Praise you God for being You. For whoever, wherever and all that You are and do. I may not completely understand you. But i know you are there and real, and that one day.....i will know.

Monday, July 18, 2005

Thank God for Family

Well, I'm back from my one week off from camp, and i sure needed it. Not only for time off, but for the time spent with my mum and stepdad, who i hadn't seen in almost a year. It was so good to catch up with the both of you and just having you around. I miss those times, and im jealous of all people who get to spend consistent time with their families. It is definately a blessing that is too short to take for granted.

For those that don't know, after term 2 ended at camp. I had a week off before the start of third term which started yesterday. My mum and Dave (my step dad) came up to visit from Australia and we spent three days in Las Vegas before heading to Kansas for the rest of the week. Vegas was definately an experience. If you can see through all the gambling and over accentuated sex appeal that a town like vegas offers, you definately marvel at the incredible minds God has placed within mankind to build and invent such amazing towers, buildings, rollercoasters and light displays. We spent a fantastic three days in Las Vegas and i got to grow closer to my family during that time.

The next four days were even better. I got to take mum and Dave back to Kansas, the place where i have definately done a lot of growing up and learnt so much from so many different people. I got to introduce them to my "extended" family and take them to all the places i'd been to school. It was a great time for them to thank all those who had helped me so much. To all those that got to meet my parents, thank you for showing your appreciation for my family, and know that i consider all of you a part of my family. They couldn't thank you enough for all you have done.

And so camp starts back up again.........Third and final term, and i have to admit im running low on energy. I have a feeling that the campers in our cabin this time aren't going to be as exciting as the last term, but i've heard some amazing stories about these guys and one in particular, Trey, who has been longing to become a Christian. I was talking to one of the division leaders yesterday about him and he is fired up about winning him over for Christ. We're apparently not allowed to talk about religion, or as they told us at orientation: "no conversions". But a lot of the guys here at camp are taking the "well if i get fired.....i get fired" policy on that one, and i'm longing to do the same. I've never held myself back in talking to people about Christ, but i want to be completely open and unashamed this term. I just pray that my energy levels don't interfere with what God has planned for these campers.

~Lord if i may only plant a seed, for it to grow without my watering, I know that by your grace alone you will harvest many passionate believers. May my job be done for your purpose, and may i always keep that at the front of my mind and discern your will. Amen~

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Can we sing religious songs......again?

So this is the final week of term 2 at camp. Its a wierd feeling because in one way i am totally drained and in another way im extremely pumped up. On Saturday ill see my mum and step dad for the first time in about a year, and i can't express how excited i am about that. I just got off the phone with them this morning, and they are counting down the hours. My bro, Jake, is also going to be in Kansas in about a month also, so.....exciting times are ahead. Also, Luke, I'm so pumped that you're even thinking about coming down to visit. You would love camp down here, and especially the Marble Falls area. Can't wait to have you down here bro.

So the title of my blog??? Well it has to do with an incredible oppurtunity that i thought would never present itself. Basically, i have a Jewish kid in my cabin that is infatuated with Christian praise and worship songs!! So much to the point that every spare minute of my day he's asking me to play some for him. He even wants to sing in front of the whole camp! God you are so amazing!!!! You might think that for me this would be a great ministry oppurtunity for me, but to be totally honest i feel so confused about what to do. I'm still trying to discern whether he's just singing to sing songs or whether he's interested in what they're about. We had a talk today about some of the Jewish songs he sings at Temple and how they're all in Hebrew and he hardly understands the meaning. He says that's why he likes Christian songs so much.

~Lord, i praise you for the oppurtunity to worship you infront of my campers every day. But i am helpless in bringing them to you without your help. I lay this all down at Your feet Father. I know you your children to be praising You in your kingdom. May this be part of their preparation and growth for their eternal lives in Your paradise.~

~I also ask Father that you watch over my parents and Katie, and keep them safe on their trips to Las Vegas. Father i ask that this week as I get to spend time with more of my family, that you would bless it and always be present. I'm dying for the oppurtunity for my parents to know you more, and i ask that you would come into their lives in accordance with your will. Allow me to be patient and wise in my decisions this week. I want to praise you in all my actions. Amen.~

Monday, July 04, 2005

Happy Patriotism Day!

Yes, today is the 4th of July. A lotta patriotism flying around camp, but even better......they played the Australian national anthem over the loudspeaker this morning...i have to say, i almost shed a tear; well not really. But i did sing along, everyone thought i was wierd.

Something i have been getting really fired up about is my future. I know, sounds crazy, usually im so anxious and get stressed as soon as i think about it, but now for some reason im really excited. I have an oppurtunity with my visa to spend a year after I graduate, as an intern......wherever i choose. After talking with some staff people at camp, they have really talked up some big churches and i've looked up a couple that look really interesting. But honestly, i have no idea what oppurtunity might present itself. I might just move back to Australia, and that would be cool. Sure i'll have debt and ill probably be drained from study. But God is so incredible. Through every struggle there has been a triumph. In every time i felt im down to nothing, something happens. To me thats more than just a coincidence. And with the awesome oppurtunities i've had in my life, i can't wait to see what happens next.....even if it sucks!

~Praise you Lord, for those bad times and for the incredible rewards you provide that we are not worthy of.~

Kansas crew, I am so excited to see you again and for all of you to meet my parents. I am going to try and get a hold of all of you to see if we can meet up sometime. But if you feel like I haven't talked to you in a really long time, please get a hold of me and tell me i'm a punk for not talking to you. Then ill make a time for us to meet up next week!! I'll be in Kansas from the 12th through the 16th. I get in on the 12th at 2:14pm on American airlines. So let me know if you have anytime that week, or any ideas of what my family can do.

I'm praying for all of you, that God may move succintly in your lives, and that we may be able to spend some great time together for his glory.