This weekend was one of the greatest weekends i've had in a while. I got to go to Dallas....one of my favorite places.....was able to be apart of a worship concert and got to hang out with some of my most favorite people in the world.
However, the fallout of a weekend like that is always a bit of a let down. In my case, it got me thinking about the future.....which is never an enjoyable thing for me. Basically, it just causes a lot of stress....i'm getting hot flashes just typing about it (maybe its just because my laptop is burning up on my lap!).
For me....the future is just too much to think about. Where am I going to live? What am I going to do? When am I going to settle down? When am I going to get married? How am I going to afford it? Sound familiar? If you roll all those questions together you just get a big ball of stress.....that i always hate dealing with.
Plus, the last two days have been kinda lonely. I've been working by myself in the office becuase the younger kids are on mission trip (in Dallas of all places). So i've had to listen to my head instead of 4 ladies talking about girl stuff (which unfortunately is worse :)
I hate these periods of my life, but they usually mark a turning point for me. I usually have to make a big decision which is uncomfortable, but turns out for the best. It's unfortunate that it's that predictable, which is why I'm praying for something out of the ordinary to happen. There are so many possibilities that i have ran through my head for the next few years of my life, but it would be great to experience a miracle....something out of the blue occur.
Throughout the stress these last few days, "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls has been running through my head (maybe the loneliness has something to do with it). But it has been a powerful song for me. I sat down to play it today on the piano and while i was playing it I had one of those great moments when God decides to interceed without notice:
"When everything's made to be broken,
I just want you to know who I am...
I just want you to know THAT I AM"
For some reason it popped into my head, but it gave me a lot of comfort.....and for just a little while.....I understood that my future was in good hands. That God really does know me and what's best. That He is enough and His grace is limitless. I wish i could feel this way all the time, but moments of stress always seem to overcome that understanding, untill His limitless grace shows me mercy.
That led me to this verse today:
"God replied, "I AM THE ONE WHO ALWAYS IS. Just tell them, 'I AM has sent me to you.' " God also said, "Tell them, `The LORD, the God of your ancestors--the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob--has sent me to you.' This will be my name forever; it has always been my name, and it will be used throughout all generations."
-Exodus 3:14-15
~God, you will always be there. I wish I could always be. But I thank you that you continue to show me mercy everyday, as your personal wish. Take my life and make something miraculous of it. Astound me in ways i can never predict....so that I may come to know the glory of Your name. Amen~
5 comments:
Wow, thats very encourging. especially since i'm about to make a big leap myself. But i can't wait till you get back.
later
kat
Hey Brenton! I'm so happy that you updated!
I completely understand what you mean about thinking about the future and the stress that surrounds those thoughts. It is funny b/c you are facing almost the exact questions I've been asking myself. I just spent a period of 3 months trying to figure out what to do re: my career choice, whether to move to KS or not, why I'm still single, etc etc. God is there for you and His plan is perfect, as you stated. Dear brother, His plan is more extravagant than anything you can possibly dream of. Below are a few scriptures that have really given me peace and guidance during these last few months of "change times". I have commited some of them to memory so that I can pull them out whenever I need encouragement...perhaps that will help you too. Of course, if there is anything I can do for you...lend a listening ear, etc please let me know. I hope to get to see you when I am in town in a few weeks!
Matthew 6:25,26,31-34
Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord, "plans for good and not for harm, to give you a future and a hope."
Isaiah 49:15,16
Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you. See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands; your walls are continually before Me.
1 John 5:14
Now this is the confidence that we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.
Philippians 4:6,7
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
You are hereby shunned by the update police. You have no diplomatic immunties.
BOB!!! You make me cry inside!
Bob...you must update! Some of us who don't get to see you wonder how you are doing...
I'm glad you made it back to KS safely and I'm sorry I missed you! I wish I would've known what time your flight was arriving...I could've made sure to get my flight the next day or something. Oh well...hopefully I can come again in the fall and see you then.
Take care.
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